5 weeks post partum

Yesterday I packed away all of my maternity clothes, and unpacked my pre-pregnancy clothes. I also gathered 3 bags worth of clothes to donate to Good Will. It felt like a great accomplishment to get my closet in working order again. I was tired of looking at all the maternity clothes in there and coming up with nothing good to wear. Those pants just don't fit anymore! So today for the first time I wore an outfit from my former life -- my pre-pregnant life. Wow, what a lifetime ago that was. Yet here I am wearing the same old clothes again. It is a nice comfort.

Bob fed Juniper a bottle again last night, though we tried a different type of bottle and nipple this time, because the Adiri bottle we had for her first feeding was leaky. The hole in the nipple is too big and it dripped easily and gave too much milk at once. I heard that those Adiri bottles can sometimes do that if it is defective, but I don't want to chance buying another one or exchanging it. Seems to me that they should inspect them before sending them out to new parents who purposely buy that bottle because they want something similar to breastfeeding so as not to disrupt the baby's experience. If the flow is too fast, the baby could prefer a bottle and become less interested in the breast. That's the reason you can buy "slow flow" nipples, and the Adiri says it is slow flow but ours is way fast. What a disappointment! Anyway, I want to make sure I let you all know incase you noticed the type of bottle in the picture from the other day. I do not recommend that bottle.

Now we are using the medela bottle (a safe plastic) with a Comfi slow flow silicone nipple made by Evenflo. Bob said that Juniper has to work hard to get the milk out with the Evenflo nipple. And that is a good thing, so that she doesn't become "lazy". We want her to maintain her ability to latch on and eat well.

It has been almost 5 weeks since I gave birth, and my body has taken a longer time to heal than I'd hoped. I think I'm finally starting to stop bleeding, though. I hope. I've been trying to take it easy. A couple weeks ago I thought I was pretty close to healed, but then I did a lot of walking and soon started bleeding more again. Bummer! So I've been more careful about taking it easy and getting other people to lift things when they can for me, and resisting my desire to go on long walks. I've been sitting or laying down when I can. And I hope that it has been enough and I will be healed soon. I am eager to exercise. Movement is very therapeutic for me.

Juniper continues to bring me joy every day. This morning for the first time she smiled while looking at me. I couldn't get her to repeat the performance, but I know it won't be long before we exchange smiles on a regular basis.